There’s a first time for everything and this week’s episode had a lot of firsts for the guys. Charlie attempts cooking, Alan tries dating two women at the same time, and Jake gets drunk for the first time.
We first see Charlie in the kitchen trying to open a tube full of cinnamon buns. He’s not having any luck, so he shoves the tube in his mouth. Alan walks in and stares at him. “Are you drunk?” Alan asked Charlie. He replied, “A little bit.” Alan took the tube from him and hit it on the edge of the counter after Charlie couldn’t open it. “Just gotta know how to whack it” he tells Charlie.
After Charlie gets the cinnamon buns out of the tube and into the oven, Alan and Charlie begin talking about Alan and his plans for the evening. We find out that Alan is not seeing just one woman, but rather two women at the same time. Alan was explaining to Charlie that when he gets dumped after seeing a woman, he has to start from scratch all over again. “It’s advantageous to date more than one woman at a time” he explains to Charlie. Of course, Charlie replies, “You’re a genius!”
Charlie then looks over at his cinnamon buns. He noticed that they were rising in the oven. “They’re rising, it’s a miracle!” Alan exclaims, “Yes, the miracle of yeast!”
We then see Charlie sitting on the couch watching TV with Jake. They’re eating Charlie’s cinnamon buns. Jake says, “You’re a good cook Uncle Charlie.” He then starts talking about meatloaf. Jake asks Charlie if he can make meatloaf. “Does it come in a tube?” asks Charlie. Jake replies, “It comes on a plate!” I love that Jake actually knows more about something than Charlie for once, but not much more.
Charlie is also sitting there next to Jake drinking a beer. Jake asks him if he can have some beer. Charlie tells him no. Jake told Charlie that he used to be so cool. Charlie tells Jake that what makes him cool is the fact that Jake’s opinion means less than squat to him. Charlie says, “Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain cells.” He flat out insulted Jake’s intelligence and Jake didn’t seem bothered by it whatsoever.
The next scene shows Charlie in the kitchen again, this time attempting to cook eggs. Berta comes in and sees a book out on the table that Charlie is using, titled “Cooking for Dummies”. Berta reads this title out loud, and Charlie yells out to the next room so Jake will hear: “No offense Jake, I’m cooking for everyone!” Berta tells Charlie that she’s trying to figure out how cooking eggs is gonna get him laid. Charlie is too preoccupied with only cooking scrambled eggs to pay much attention to Berta’s comment.
We find out that the names of the two women that Alan is seeing are Stephanie and Katie. One of them calls him and wants to see him when he already had made plans with the other one. With the help of Jake, Alan makes up an excuse so she won’t find out that he’s seeing someone else. He says something along the lines that he’s going to take Jake go-carting. Jake asks his father if they’re really going go-carting, and Alan says no. Jake tells Alan that he’s using him for his own purposes. Alan feels bad so he gives Jake $20.
Charlie then enters the room with what’s supposed to be hollandaise sauce. “Why does it smell like bourbon?” Alan asks Charlie. Charlie said he spilled bourbon in it. Charlie tasted it and said it tasted too much like egg. I guess it didn’t have enough bourbon in it for him.
Alan asks Charlie why he’s suddenly so interested in cooking. Charlie said something along the lines of the fact that people can grow and that’s what he was doing. Alan said that in the 6 years that he’s lived there, Charlie has only turned on the stove to light a cigar.
Alan then turns the conversation over to his two women. He referred the the show “The Bachelor” when he said that he was planning on giving a rose to his second lady at the end of the night. Charlie told Alan that “Only you could gay up banging two women!” He then tried to give Alan some advice on how to handle seeing two women at once, especially when it comes to answering their questions. Charlie advised “Always answer a question with another question.” Alan leaves, and Charlie walks back into the kitchen, tasting his hollandaise sauce again and states that it “Tastes like stale ass!”
Alan is spending the night with girl number one. She asks him if he’s seeing anyone else. Alan tried to follow Charlie’s advice, but failed miserably. He admitted that he was seeing someone else. Alan is such a bad liar, that he had to come right out with the truth.
The next scene with Charlie is almost identical to the previous scene with Alan. The woman staying with Charlie asks him if he’s seeing anyone else. He tells her no, and seems so calm about it…the complete opposite of Alan. The phone rings. I expected it to be Alan, because it seems like a lot of times it is Alan, but no, this time it was his son. We hear Jake leave a message. “It’s me, Jakey! I’m drunk!” Jake yells in his message. Charlie picks up the phone and tells Jake that he’ll pick him up soon.
Charlie pulls up outside of the mall to pick up Jake. Jake tells Charlie that he gave the $20 that Alan gave him to a creepy guy named Satellite Jack to get his friend Gabe and himself some beer. Jake ate something with jalapenos, and Charlie told him he would regret eating that. Jake then had to puke, so he was throwing up outside of Charlie’s car. “I see what you mean about jalapenos!” Jake yelled to Charlie. Jake then wanted to go the movies with Charlie. He wanted to see an R-rated movie. “Boobies, no violence!” He tells Charlie. He then has to throw up again. Charlie kept making sure that Jake was out of his car before he was about to throw up. He made Jake take off his shoes since he got vomit on them and put them in a plastic bag in the trunk so they wouldn’t ruin his car.
We then see Alan move on to lady number two since the first one didn’t go so well. He knocks on her door. Alan says to her that he was seeing someone else, but that he’s learned that he’s a one woman man. “Baby, you’re that woman!” he tells her. He wants her to be his only woman. We then learn that this woman is either married or seeing another man, I don’t remember which, but Alan starts to freak out. The woman then uses a taser gun on Alan, and we see him fall to the floor twitching because he had been electrocuted. I thought this part was pretty funny.
Back at the house, Charlie is keeping Jake company in the bathroom while Jake is throwing up. Charlie tells Jake that his body is sending him a message. Jake apparently thinks the message involves the food in his vomit. “You could wash off that shrimp and eat it again!” he tells Charlie. Jake then pukes again, and says “Whoa, I felt that one in my nuts!”
Alan then opens the door. He looks absolutely horrible…his hair is a mess, he’s completely pale, and he looks like he’s totally out of it. Charlie rats out Jake and tells Alan that Jake got drunk. Alan says with no emotion detected in his voice “Oh, bad boy!” but then he very slowly and quietly shuts the door. Charlie is still sitting in there with Jake, drinking a beer, and says “So, how ’bout a beer?” In response to that, Jake throws up yet again.
The last scene shows the guys on the balcony. Alan and Jake look like they’re completely beat. Jake says, “Never again!” about his night of drinking, and Alan replies “Me neither!” about seeing two women at once. Charlie tells both of them that they look at him and think it’s easy.
Alan tells Jake that “If I hadn’t been electrocuted earlier this evening, we would be having a serious talk right now!” You can tell that neither of them are in good shape to do any talking. Jake throws up again over the balcony, and this episode ends with us seeing Alan twitch multiple times from the aftermath of his earlier electrocution.
I thought the funniest part was Alan getting electrocuted and Jake getting drunk for the first time. I doubt we’ll see Charlie cook again in future episodes, but you never know!
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